What's the difference between abuse and mistreatment? Where do you draw the line?

I don't mean physical abuse, I mean emotional/mental abuse.





Screaming? Name-calling? Negligence? Disrespect?





Not making the bed in the morning?





What is abusive behavior, and what is just not being a good partner?|||I would have to say that it depends on the frequency and type of "screaming" and name calling.





Everyone has bad moments. Even the most kind and most patient person can have a bad day or a bad minute and lose it for a time. Being screamed at, sworn at, verbally broken down on a daily or even weekly basis could be considered emotionally abusive. Once a month, you might want to find out what the underlying cause is and work to correct it. Once every couple of months, it is okay to put it down to a bad moment and be forgiving, though it might behoove one to suggest a different method of assauging the temper.





Negligence is just thoughtlessness, not abuse. Disrespect is just that, a character flaw, not abusive. With these, the choice is there, seek to change things or move on.





Although I am the first to decry abuse within relationships, I also find that it has become a word that is overused and misunderstood, to the point that when someone says they are abused they are no longer taken seriously. You draw the line by using a modicum of common sense and not jumping on the "abuse" bandwagon.|||Emotional abuse is any kind of abuse that is emotional rather than physical in nature. It can include anything from verbal abuse and constant criticism to more subtle tactics, such as repeated disapproval or even the refusal to ever be pleased. It is is like brain washing in that it systematically wears away at the victim's self-confidence, sense of self-worth, trust in their own perceptions, and self-concept





Mistreatment is a very general term. It it often refers to treatment that doesn't really have psychological effect on a person.





Some of the abusive behaviors are:


- the authority figure alone decide what is right and wrong,, good/bad and "appropriate" and "inappropriate"


- the authority figure is only responsible and accountable for good things that happen, never the bad ones.


- the authority figure tries to exercise total control of the dependent by controlling their partner's thoughts, feelings and behavior. Whenever this control is not absolute, the authority figure feels threatened.|||Mental abusive realationships can be more than just Mistreatment! Most men do this to have some type of Power in there own personal lives.. They feel Mistreated by society or have Inadequit feelings of hopelessness %26amp; ditrust! Most end-up taking there problems out on there wifes or in some casdes there children as well. There is no-Respect nor trust! At some point either you or in sum cases he will result in a physical confrentation and its uped a notch because the mental abuse is less Powerful and then they seek more-so control....|||I think I know what you mean. You're wondering where this kind of thing would fall on a scale of 1 - 10. Is it something you should feel really hurt about, or should you just put up and shut up?





Everyone lets off steam from time to time, and lots of partners are guilty of not making the bed in the morning, but I think you already know the difference between that and someone who is repeatedly choosing to make you feel bad.





The truth is that even if the screaming, the name-callling, and the disrespect ran off you like water off a duck's back, it would still be emotional abuse. And it obviously isn't running off your back. It's deeply wounding you.





So where do you draw the line?





I would say draw it right here and right now.





You have a number of options, but continuing to accept this kind of hurt shouldn't be one of them.





You know your partner best. If this is recent behaviour and you believe it's totally out of character for your partner, you could try talking to get to the root cause and to explain how much it's affecting you. Your partner could be very worried about something and lashing out at you. Or there could be an underlying medical reason for it.





But, usually that's not the case. Usually, this turns out to be a sustained behaviour pattern that's built into the personality of the abuser. And there is only one way to stop it, I'm afraid.





There's a very good website you might like to have a look at, which will give you lots of insight and encouragment. I've set it at the page about red-flag warnings:


http://saferelationshipsmagazine.com/cat鈥?/a>|||abuse is mistreatment and vice versa.





it's when the other person feels worn down and incapacitated and unhappy by unkind behavior and I think persistence has something to do with it.











EDIT:


Rebecca - negligence can be abuse too - you can go to jail for it.|||Being verbally assertive is when the woman tell's the husband he doesn't make enough money, has a small pen**, is gutless %26amp; spineless.





Verbal abuse is if the husband says anything other than "yes, dear".|||Erm, i try to avoid both, thanks.